This novel caught me by surprise. I went into it thinking it was a romance and boy was I wrong. This is so much more than a romance. You have romantic moments, but this novel honestly felt like I was sitting on the outside watching the wedding people as they just went about their days. It was more real than anything I’ve read in a long time, and I am so very grateful for that. Besides my personal feelings about this novel, I wanna also talk about the characters, the plot, and the writing style. 

So, with the characters, I know sooo many people who thought Phoebe was the best character. While I agree with that to an extent, my personal favorite was Lila. At times, she was definitely bratty and entitled, but most of the time, I saw a layer of depth that I didn’t see in the other characters. She was acting that way because of her deceased father and all the expectations she thought he had for her. I could feel her deep-set emotions through every action and understand the way her mind was turning with each thing that went wrong. It was one of my favorite parts about the novel. Phoebe, while being the center of the book, was still more developed than Lila, but the odd relationship they shared was beautiful. All other characters that Phoebe interacted with were just as fun to get to know, but my favorite interactions were between Phoebe and Lila since they were just so unapologetically open with each other. 

With the plot, I’m going to have to go into a few spoilers just because I love how well everything ties together. Before that, though, I just want to say that it was a beautiful way to read through a book where the characters were already amazing and following through plot points that brought so much depth to them. 

The writing style for this book basically felt like an inner monologue. Phoebe described people she just met based off of their physical descriptions “bun girl” (or something similar), and other descriptions until she actually got to know the wedding people. Then, they turn into people with names. I absolutely adored this. I love the subtle descriptions that just feel like they came out of your own mind. I will one hundred percent read another book by Alison Espach solely based on the fact that I love the way she writes so much. 

Spoilers ahead.

My goodness I loved everything about this book. The plot and characters and writing style and just… everything. But really, though, guys, the plot was so freaking great.

You start with Phoebe checking into the hotel with her only intention being to kill herself after a nice meal. The only problem is that she’s the only one not part of the wedding party taking up the rest of the hotel. When Phoebe meets Lila, she changes her mind a little while after and decides she wants to live. Thus begins our wild ride of Phoebe meeting the wedding people, learning all their names, and at the end, she finally becomes one of them. I loved this slow transition from Phoebe being an outsider (feeling like she wants to die), and then becoming part of the wedding party (feeling like she has her whole life ahead of her). The book ends with Lila calling off the wedding because she actually likes Jim and doesn’t love Gary the way she wants to love someone. Gary and Phoebe actually like each other (but never have an affair, thank God). My favorite part, though? They don’t end up together at the end of the novel. It’s sort of just open-ended and left for the reader to decide as Phoebe enters back into the world as someone who wants to experience life without feeling like she has to act specifically to please someone. I can’t even say how much I loved it, like, I feel speechless after finishing this novel. 

Overall, I will say that this novel and The God of the Woods are my top reads this year so far. But boy when I tell you, you should read this book: READ THIS BOOK. I’m not even at a time in my life close to Phoebe’s, but I still felt how poignant and true all of her feelings were. This novel will give you hope. It will give you chills. It will literally make you look at the world and think, “there are so many possibilities ahead of me.” 5/5 stars with no reservations whatsoever. Alison Espach, I will 100% read anything you write. 

Source: Book of the Month

(P.S. You can read this book for free by signing up for a free trial of Audible, which gives you two free audiobooks of your choice!)